dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
