careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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