the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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