I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
