good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
