the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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