hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
