If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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