summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
