So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Randomize
