Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
My vagina just clenched in fear
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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