How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
