My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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