in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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