funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
