so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
