I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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