dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
