Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I have already put on my inside pants.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
