Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
