69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
