I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
They are going to name an STD after you.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
