I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
