Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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