She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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