on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
