pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
