Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
