Just cropdusted the office
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
organizing the empties. That sober.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
