I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
