Having a random hookup so left but love u
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
