I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Randomize