Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
