All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
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