My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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