Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
