She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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