I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
BRING THE BAGELS
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Randomize
