I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
