There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
