My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
