i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
