Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
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