I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
