Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
