We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Randomize
