This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
