nut hugger
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
