Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
