all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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