ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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