so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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