She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize