he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
