I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
