dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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