I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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