3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
