Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize