just survived the first fart of the relationship.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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