So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
