we have officially lost it.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Randomize
