Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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