This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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