Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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