Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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